You never think it will be you.
You hope it will never be you.
Then it is you.
Shown into the room with the comfy chairs, box of tissues on the side, the first appointment after lunch, before the business of the afternoon starts.
You hear lots of words, scan, biopsy, treatment plan, you must eat, don't worry, sleep, suspicious, consultant, but the one word left ringing round your mind, filling every available micro space and forcing the very essence of you out, is cancer.
There now, i've said it, Cancer, I suppose we should make it a capital C.
And so life as you know it stops in its tracks, and a new one starts.
So, the consultant appointment after the CT scan saw us being shown into the room with the comfy chairs - and I suppose both of us knew at that point that it wasn't going to be good news.
We were looking at Ovarian Cancer but a further biopsy would be needed to determine actual type and to enable the Oncology team to get an idea of treatment etc.
Biopsy date came through for the following Tuesday - off we went for a bit of a poke and prod and home again (after a day of keeping my feet in the air ).
The results would go the the MDT (Multi Disciplinary Team - A Multidisciplinary Team Meeting is a meeting of the group of professionals from one or more clinical disciplines who together make decisions regarding recommended treatment of individual PATIENTS. may specialise in certain conditions, such as Cancer. - NHS Direct) and then another appt would be made, looking at a 7 to 10 day wait.
Well things started to speed. Biopsy was done on Tuesday, following Wednesday we were back with the Gynae consult. This time the formal diagnosis, no more beating around the bush - you have Ovarian Cancer. The big brown "you have cancer envelope" was handed across, lots of information and explanations that we would now be handed across to the specialist cancer treatment unit in Sheffield.
We left that meeting in a strange state, because although the diganosis was "in" , there was still more waiting to find out how and when we would start trying to fix this.
More waiting for new appts. But by know things were on a roll, Friday am we had a phone call from the Weston Park Hospital in Sheffield, they had a cancellation for 2.30 that afternoon. Could we attend - of course we could.
Andrew re-arranged his day - I re-arranged mine and we duly arrived for our 2.30 appt. By 4pm Friday afternoon, I had signed the paperwork and my first Chemo session was booked for the following Thursday.
Lots and lots of information, on the type of drugs that will be used, the side effects and what is to be expected.
My particular cocktail is Carboplatin & Paclitaxel. The latter is the one that will see me loose my hair.
Today is Wednesday - the day before everything changes.
And yesterday I had my hair cut !!!